Very Short Story - The No Brainer

 A very silly dialogue only short piece written for a writing challenge to the prompt "No Brainer". I took my usual unconventional approach to this...;)

The No-Brainer

“Ummm…. Master?”

“Now, now, now, yes! The body parts are all stitched together – lovely backstitch by the way, Igor…”

“Thank you Master, but…”

“The lightning rod is in place – yeeesss! And a perfect storm is bubbling away, hahahaha! This is going to be magnificent!”

“Yes, Master but…”

 “The equipment is ready, I’ve got my goggles and my white overalls – all the stains came out beautifully, Igor, do commend the cleaner…”

  “Actually, I believe she’s the right buttock, Master. But…”

“Everything is ready! Soon the power will surge into it and my creation will rise, rise, RISE!!!!! Hahahahahaha…”

“But Master…”

“What is it, Igor? Can’t you see I’m being melodramatic?”

“Master, haven’t you… forgotten something?”

“No, I don’t think so… Monster, storm, lightning rod, goggles, overall, evil cackle… I think I’ve covered the full mad scientist gamut. What are you implying?”

 “Master, I think you may find that you have not yet acquired… the brain.”

“What? Wait, no I must have. What about that psychopath from the asylum we kidnapped?”

 “He ate his way out through the wall plaster and escaped, Master. I did leave you a post-it on the fridge.”

 “But what about the back up brain?”

 “The milkman drowned himself in semi-skimmed, Master. That’s why your coffee has been black for the past three days.”

 “But we must have a brain, we must! The storm, the lightning rod, everything’s ready! There must be someone else in the castle whose brain we can use…”

 “There’s no one here but you and me, Master….”

 “Just you and me?”

 “Yes, Master…”

 “Igor, my devoted servant, perhaps you wouldn’t mind, as a special favour…”

 “No, Master.”

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Very Short Story - A Surfeit of Irony

I should really be writing something profound and thought-provoking here but, to be candid with you all, dear readers, I'm really tired and can't be arsed so I have chosen to share with you another little story written many moons ago for a writing challenge far away in a distant corner of the internet. Once more, it shows my tendency to try and angle things a little differently. Copyright is mine, of course, and if my little note in the original document is accurate, the prompt was "Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want". Enjoy. :) A Surfeit of Irony He couldn’t say when he’d first noticed the pattern. That was the thing people tended to forget. He was an intelligent man. Calling himself Dr De’Ath was no affectation – he’d earned the title legitimately through studies conducted at numerous highly considered universities and the surname had been a bonus of lucky parentage. After all, being born Xavier Marvolio De’Ath the third pretty much guaranteed a high leve
Read more

The Uniqueness of a Book

 The human imagination is an extraordinary thing, when you stop and think about it. Being as I am not of a scientific bent, I have no idea of the ins and outs of how it can possibly work, how it is that a lump of grey meat inside a wrapping of bone could possibly generate images, ideas, unheard sounds, regurgitate things once seen and create whole new universes out of nothing. Indeed, to be honest, I don’t want to understand how it works - that would destroy the magic. I’m quite happy just to have the means to play in new and never before seen realms in the depths of my own head. But there is another special thing about the imagination – it is unique. It is a strange thing to consider that no one will ever see my characters exactly how I do. Oh, I can describe them down to the freckles on their noses but one of the beauties of books and taking a world out of words rather than pictures is that everyone’s imagination will give it their own slant. Even the finest description in the w
Read more

On Being Ordinary

It’s a tough old gig, isn’t it? Being ordinary. I think it’s fair to assume that most people will know how it feels. To be one of the masses, puttering through life in the background, with the occasional walk through or cameo into something bigger but generally just the background noise of life, unheard, unseen and mostly unappreciated. And whenever the larger forces of the universe collide to make something big and splashy happen, it’s always the ordinary folks who end up shafted by it. It’s enough of a bother up here in the real world – so imagine what it must be like being the background noise in a fantasy kingdom with all the perils of plague, war, magical catastrophe and attack by random winged beasties to contend with as one tries to get by in life. Straightforward medieval peasant life with new weird and obscure ways to die thrown in – fun times for all! I’ve often thought being a background character in a fantasy novel must be the hardest gig in all of literature, especial
Read more