Lessons Learned In Lockdown

Over the course of the last week, as an exercise in sanity maintenance (never easy at the best of times), I have taken to scribbling down observations about life and the world as it stands within reach of me at the moment in a conveniently placed notebook. I sincerely doubt they make a drop of sense but I thought I’d share them anyway. Just cos...

One of the children who plays in a nearby garden makes a noise that sounds like an ailing peacock has mated with the sound effects cartridge of a 1980s computer game. I find this disconcerting.

I have a dripping tap in my flat. I swear it’s getting faster.

The kindness of strangers can prevent scurvy. Or so it seems to someone who is currently dependent on the lovely people from her local corner shop to deliver her milk and vegetables.

I like birdsong. It’s nice to hear that normal life is going about its business for someone. Though that song thrush does sound disconcertingly like a fire alarm.

Working from home on one’s own dining table is a strange experience. Dinner is cramped. And careful. I’m not sure work would appreciate me returning a laptop garnished with casserole.

Even under current conditions, I still have more books than I can hope to read. Possibly ever.

That tap is speeding up. I’d put money on it. Either that or it’s making fun of me.

My smoke alarm lets off little chirps when the power goes out. I learned this in the pitch black at 4am this morning. It also gives off a triumphant and loud beebeep when the power comes back. To judge by the sudden increase in footsteps and doors slamming from the surrounding flats, I suspect my neighbours have learned this too. I believe they will have appreciated it as much as I did.

It is becoming increasing difficult to think of stimulating and interesting conversation to share when on the phone to family members. My repertoire of witty life experiences has been on the wane of late. It’s like dredging a puddle with a colander.

When spending a lot of time alone, hearing your letter box clatter is weirdly exciting. It’s like a handshake from the outside world.

Why fireworks, honestly? Just clap, you try hards...

My recently acquired settee and I have become very close lately. I sense the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

You know, once you hear a dripping tap, it’s very, very hard to stop hearing it again. It’s like audio water torture.

I’ve missed smelling the first scent of Spring. Perhaps this is just me. But there’s a moment every year when, for some reason you can’t even put your finger on, you sniff the air and realise Spring is on its way. It’s nothing in particular and I never know it until it happens but it always makes me smile when it does. While I’m sad I haven’t had that moment this year though, I have enjoyed watching the green creep into the trees behind my home, working its way up covering branch to branch with leaves as it reaches for the sky. Every day is something brand new.

Working from home has its good and bad sides. On the one hand, biscuits are readily available. On the other hand, biscuits are readily available.

It’s ridiculous how tiring it is to just stay at home. I’m starting to wonder if commutes were designed as a stimulant.

I miss going outside. A lot.

My neighbour’s dog barks like Scooby-doo. I can’t remember if they have a camper van.

It’s amazing how many major film and TV stars show up disconcertingly young when one is living off DVDs one bought in the late 1990s/early 2000s. Mark Ruffalo and Ryan Phillippe have shown up in the last two episodes of Due South alone. Jason Clarke and Ben Mendelsohn both appeared under heavy alien disguise in Farscape too. My ancient DVD collection is like an episode of “Before They Were Famous.”

I really, really, really want a TARDIS. Preferably with David Tennant in it.

The time has come. For the sake of my sanity, I need to shift that ruddy tap over the plughole. Do excuse me.

I CAN STILL HEAR IT. There’s no escape...

[PS – the odd thing was, it turns out I wasn’t imagining the tap getting faster or louder. It happend they were doing water works in my area and they’d increased pipe pressure as a prelude to them turning my water off altogether! Luckily it came back a few hours later but, hey, at least I haven’t going completely bonkers... Well. Yet. ;p]